“Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”, was coined in 1979 by Eric Idle, for the ending of the Monty Python film; Life of Brian. Sang by another man facing crucifixion in attempt to cheer up the main character, Brian, the song features lyrics that have a surprisingly deep message.
In a full-circle way, the song repeats the same themes; the unfortunate parts of life, picking yourself up, and focusing on the good.
Which, for a comedic and incredibly satirical film, is something we should all deeply consider.
But what if there actually isn’t a bright side?
Personally, I struggle a lot to remain optimistic. So much so, that 2 months ago, I got a tattoo with the phrase ‘Amor Fati’, meaning ‘Love Fate’ in Latin. But the fact I felt the need to get the tattoo alone goes to show how sometimes we do need reminders that things will work out.
It’s easy to say as a pessimist, but it’s incredibly difficult to remain optimistic all the time. It’s human to have emotions and have bad days, but the most important skill to have is ‘to look on the bright side’.
Although, on the flip side, we have to be wary of toxic positivity.
Think of it this way: Yes, things probably will work out, and yes, it’s always beneficial to focus on the good, but it’s also important to take time to actually feel.
Perhaps it’s naive to say, but I truly don’t believe we should always look for the good in a situation. I don’t believe in suppressing feelings, hiding from the truth, or ignoring problems. If we do that, how on earth do we expect to learn or move on from them?
I think it’s a very human thing to do; seeing the good in the bad. And I applaud those who are able to do so. But what do we actually gain in doing so?
That isn’t to say, however, that we should dwell in the bad things that happen to us – it just means we should allow ourselves to actually feel waht we’re feeling and heal, rather than make excuses and move on too quickly.
And in another realm, this toxic thinking can lead us to not only dismiss our own feelings, but also the feelings of others. It can seem a simple remark, saying “don’t worry about that job turning you down, there’ll be another one”, but in reality, we’re just affirming that instead of moving forward, we’re actually moving past the issue.
It’s more beneficial here, to ask your friend what they thought lead to that outcome, what could be done better, how has it left them feeling. Rather than dismissing the situation and encouraging them to dive head first into another (possibly negative) instance.
This can be a very confusing topic, because ideally, we need to find a balance of the two.
We need to find a way to allow ourselves to feel and accept outcomes, but also remain positive that things can move forward from it.
We can’t dismiss, but we can’t dwell.
We have to accept, and use it to push us forward.
This is a very interesting topic to me, and something I personally struggle with, so look out for more posts with this theme: accepting outcomes.
