The Weight of Feeling Nothing

Katy Perry once said: “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, floating through the wind, wanting to start again?”, so let’s talk about why the answer is an astounding YES.

While everybody experiences life differently, I’m sure at one point or another, we’ve all experienced the feeling of nothingness. The feeling where we’re not happy, but we’re not sad either; a state of mind where we simply seem to exist. The times where we just seem to float through life, as if on autopilot; in an endless daze of emptiness.

I know some of you may be thinking: “Isn’t that a symptom of depression?”, and you’d be right – but it’s also so much more. It’s one of those cases where you don’t have to be depressed to feel nothingness, but you also don’t need to feel nothingness to be deemed depressed.

(We’ll go into more detail about depression in another post).

So, where does that leave us?

I feel like this a question a lot of us ask ourselves when we feel this way. We are left wondering, 1) what we’re actually feeling, and 2) why it is we feel that way.

I think it’s also important to note that there are different levels to this feeling too. For example, it could hit when you’re driving home, and you only realise half way that you weren’t really present. Or, it could be when you’re sat by yourself at home, doing an activity you’d typically enjoy, and you find yourself feeling detached.

Much like everything with mental health, each experience is different – so, try not to compare your feelings with others, or feel as though you’re not feeling as bad as someone else, because both of your feelings and experiences are valid.

A notable point here is that we might expect these feelings to be freeing in some way. I mean this in the sense that some of us might crave the release of our emotions, for example, when grief, stress, or anxiety weighs us down. But then it hits us, that this feeling, albeit relieving, still isn’t healthy; at least when we we’re anxious, we’re feeling something, right?

We’re once again left in a state of unknowing. Not knowing why we feel the way we do, and not knowing how to start feeling again.

So, how do we start feeling normal again?

1. Accept what you’re feeling

Much like any other mental health issue, the first step to making progress is acceptance. Once we’re able to accept what we’re feeling and see the validity in our emotions, we can start making steps towards making progress – and in this case, getting ourselves out of this emotionless rut.

2. Identify the cause

Once we learn to accept our feelings, we can start the process of understanding where they have stemmed from. Perhaps it’s simply a down day, or your anxiety has peaked and left you feeling hopeless. It could even be that there is no real cause at all. Although, once we identify where they have stemmed from, we can make a plan to pick ourselves back up, and see exactly what it is that we need to do so.

3. Set goals

Now that we have identified what we are feeling, and why, we can begin to make a plan to get us out of this rut. These goals should be small and obtainable, as adding pressure to yourself will only make the process harder. Working towards specific goals can also help motivate us, so even if you’d like to reach a larger goal, make sure you take small steps to help you get there in one piece.

4. Take small steps

When we have our goals in place, and have a plan to reach them, we can begin the process of getting ourselves out of this rut. Now, I sympathise with how lonesome it can feel when we find ourselves feeling empty, but it’s important we keep the end goal in sight, while taking small, achievable steps to get there. This could be as simple as: replying to emails, tidying your workspace, or getting back in touch with friends.

5. Practice self-care

It can be easy when we feel empty, to neglect looking after ourselves. It’s important that during this process, we continue to practice self-care. Now, this isn’t just taking relaxing baths and listening to music, but it’s the simple things, like eating regular meals, getting enough sleep, and learning to take breaks when needed. Self-care can be so simple, yet so easy to neglect.

6. Reach out

Another important step when getting out of a rut, is to realise that we’re not alone. You might find it helpful to read posts such as these, as to relate to someone else, but it’s also important that you actively reach out. Even if you feel confident enough to escape these feelings without help, you should always maintain relationships with friends and family, as it offers you another escape when things become overwhelming. You don’t have to unload all of your emotions on your support network, but it definitely helps to have someone to talk to, or grab coffee with.

The most important thing to remember when you find yourself feeling empty, is to know that you’re not alone, and you do have the strength to get yourself out of it.

Simply take it one step at a time, and be patient with yourself.